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In 2017 I came forward to the police about sexual abuse that happened to me as a child. After a four-year battle with the criminal justice system, our abuser us pled guilty and is currently serving a 20-year sentence in prison for his crimes.
Less than 3% of rape victims see the justice of having their abuser incarcerated. This success is rare.
However, what happened to me is not rare. It is estimated that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be the victim of sexual assault before they turn 18. 1 in 6 adult women will be the victim of a rape or attempted rape in her lifetime.
I have decided to tell my story, because future generations deserve lower odds at being abused. Future victims deserve to be believed. It is my hope that my story can help shine a light on some of the cultural, societal and legal issues that keep abusers free and victims silent.
I also know that we are all one in our shared humanity. The way we navigate our lives in the most difficult of times is where we could all benefit from sharing notes more openly. By sharing how I have navigated my life thus far, I hope to offer insight to those on their own path to healing and empowerment.
Victim Impact Statement
When a criminal pleads guilty in a sexual violence crime, the victims of the criminal have the opportunity to read a victim impact statement in court.
It was very important for my healing that I got to say these words to my abuser. I believe that victimhood is an important stage that we must pass through when we are healing, and in order to move beyond victimhood we must first acknowledge it fully. It is important to be able to grieve what has been lost. It is crucial to honor the parts of us that have been hurt, so that they may reintegrate back into the self.
Being able to fully express my feelings allowed me to reframe the story of my life and claim a new era of it. I share this so that anyone who has ever felt the pain of this type of crime may know that they are not alone, and that there are others out there who have carried a similarly heavy and complicated burden. I share this for those who seek to understand what the specific pain of this type of crime feels like, and what it does to a life.
While I do not still feel caught in my victimhood, I leave this here to honor that sacred place where I spent some time so that I could eventually move forward and reclaim my power.
Elly Health
Katie is also a contributor to Elly Health, which provides daily motivation and support for people living with a chronic condition. She writes and records sessions for Elly clients around subjects like mindfulness, self-care, motivation and the mind-body connection.